45 Lessons About Turning 45
This Sunday, October 11, I turn 45 years of age.
As a bit of a public service, I felt it would be helpful to share with you insights gleaned from this season of life.
In addition to this weeks photo where I was rocking a vest long before any hipster was born, here are 45 things you should know about turning 45:
- You have to increase the font size on your phone because you cannot see as well.
- You go to the eye doctor and they say, “This is what happens at your age.”
- Professional athletes look like kids.
- You are not over the hill, but you are perched at the top of the hill and rolling forward.
- If you eat carbs you blow up like a Puffer Fish.
- The classic rock station starts playing songs from when you were in high school.
- Sometimes you wake up with a sleep related injury for no reason.
- You start complaining about the government more and more.
- Sometimes you take a nap, other times you take two naps.
- You resign yourself to the fact that you cannot get one candle for every year on your cake without burning the house down.
- Dancing cheery boy bands make no sense.
- You buy a vehicle because it is comfortable, not because it is cool.
- You can drive faster because you can afford better insurance.
- Your friends start taking turns playing “midlife crisis.”
- Sometimes after you walk across the room, you forgot why you went there in the first place.
- You start handing your technology to your kids for tech support because you cannot figure it out.
- Movies where old guys are still action heroes seem interesting.
- Your spouse has officially put up with a lot from you.
- Your sons know that you can outwrestle them for one round, but after that it’s all downhill for you.
- When you drop something you ponder whether or not you want it bad enough to pick it up.
- You realize that pretty much everything you cared about in high school was silly.
- Your mom was right.
- Your dad was right sometimes.
- Letting a 16 year old drive seems completely crazy.
- Any rocker your age or older still wearing leather pants is just sad, especially if they are wearing leather pants while singing at a casino.
- Recess is greatly missed.
- Your kids are not little anymore.
- You start to look forward to grandkids because you miss when your kids were little.
- Heaven seems a bit closer.
- You shudder to think what 45 would be like without Jesus.
- Pulling an all nighter is in the same category as flying pigs.
- Old people start to just look like people.
- Celebrity gossip is a total yawn.
- You are more grateful than ever for real friends.
- Most of what you learned in college is forgotten.
- The clothes you wore as a teenager have finally come back into style after a few decade hiatus.
- Some books have become like old friends.
- Being called “sir” or “mam” no longer causes your eye to twitch.
- Sometimes you eat desert first just because no one can stop you.
- Looking at old photos of people you love chokes you up.
- When a teenager texts, you have no idea what the shorthand means so you cannot even LOL.
- It seems like your 21st birthday was just last week.
- You will be 46 before you know it.
- You can see God as a Father more clearly than ever.
- 45 ain’t bad.
Meaningless Life? Part 10, “Climb the Ladder: Ecclesiastes 6:1-12“, is available today. Check out all of Pastor Mark’s new series here.