Genesis 21:14 – So Abraham rose early in the morning and took bread and a skin of water and gave it to Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, along with the child, and sent her away. And she departed and wandered in the wilderness of Beersheba.
You probably live in a house, condo, or some type of apartment or building that was architected, that was created and built with some type of plan in mind. Would you move your family into a house that hadn’t been architected, that didn’t have blueprints? Of course not. But so many people move their families into a life without a plan, which can lead to generations of destruction and pain. I want to help you avoid that.
In the story of Abraham and Sarah, we see a family that doesn’t have a plan, or rather deviates so far from God’s plan, that their lives and legacies go haywire.
If we look back to Genesis 2:24-25, we’re told that a man should do four things: 1) leave his father and his mother 2) hold fast to his wife 3) they shall become one flesh and 4) the man and his wife were both naked and not ashamed. These four points also correspond to what Pastor Jimmy Evans in his book by the same name calls “The Four Laws of Love”. If you’re married or want to be married, I highly recommend it.
As a quick overview, the four laws are as follows:
- Law of Priority – You must “leave and cleave”, or let go of your father and mother being the most important relationship, so you can reprioritize your life to make your spouse the person of most significance.
- Law of Pursuit – Marriage requires effort from both sides and our marriage works better when we work at it and pursue our spouse.
- Law of Partnership – God made man and woman different, with different responsibilities, but equal. This means that neither one is more important but that both were made in the image of God.
- Law of Purity – This means that our marriage must be an atmosphere where we feel comfortable enough with each other to be “naked and unashamed”, not just physically but emotionally and spiritually. With this person, we can be our true selves.
Looking at the story of Abraham and Sarah, we see that their life plan deviated from God’s original life plan for their marriage and from these four laws. Let’s take a look:
- Law of Priority – “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother…” – Abraham deviated from this plan as, upon leaving his homeland as God called him to do, he took his nephew Lot along with him, which created a lot of drama and trouble for him and his family.
- Law of Pursuit – “…and hold fast to his wife…” – Abraham got two women pregnant and, quite honestly, as we look throughout the story of Abraham and Sarah, he didn’t do a great job of pursuing his wife, as he tried to give her away not once but twice.
- Law of Partnership – “…and they shall become one flesh.” – Abraham consummated his marriage with Sarah, as he should’ve, but he also slept with Hagar, so he went against the command to be “one flesh” with his wife.
- Law of Purity – “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” – Abraham and Sarah’s marriage was not a protected environment because Abraham slept with another woman, so there was most likely hiding and secrets between man and wife, in their case.
If Abraham and Sarah would’ve just followed the commands given in Genesis 2, as they prayed and asked God to help them architect their lives, they could’ve avoided a lot of trouble and drama and a war that still rages to this day between nations that originated with two brothers. I would encourage you to learn from their mistakes and determine God’s plan for the life of your family so you can live a happy, healthy life that will be passed down for generations to come.
Do you and your family have an architected plan for your life? I would encourage you to make a plan for your future family, or if you’re married, sit down with your spouse and make a plan for your life and family.
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