How Can You Pursue Your Wife?

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”  – Ephesians 5:25 

As we close out the week, we must remember the importance of pursuing our wives if married. Genesis 2 says to “hold fast” (some older Bible translations will say “cleave”). Have you ever seen a sports team nearing a scoring opportunity? They’re focused on the goal, and that’s how a guy should be when he’s pursuing a woman. You know a guy has met his potential wife when he suddenly gets very focused. He finds his girl and he wants to marry her, so he starts making and saving more money than ever and putting his life together to invite her into it.  This is passionate pursuit and vigorous intentionality.  

The problem becomes when men sometimes have that vigorous enthusiasm until the honeymoon is over. All of a sudden, they’re pursuing their career, hobbies, or the kids, and all the enthusiasm of pursuing their wife wanes. This can even cause real danger through “work spouses”, emotional affairs, and even physical affairs. You need to date your wife before someone else does. You dated her to marry her, so keep dating her to stay married to her. Many men think marriage is the finish line, but it’s just the starting line.  

I say this all the time and have a Leave and Cleave sermon series and workbook on it: When a man and a woman marry, they’re not joining each other’s families; they’re starting a new family. When the holidays come, my married kids and their families are always invited, but it’s up to them to decide what to do with their family. If they want an opinion, I’ve certainly got it, and I’ve turned it into a career. But, if they don’t want my opinion, I’ll just tuck it away and pray for their decisions. The big problem comes when we don’t allow the next generation to have healthy families because we don’t let them be their own family.  If you’re married, what is one way you can pursue your wife this week? Maybe it’s going out on a spontaneous date and doing something she really enjoys. Or maybe it’s just talking and listening to her without any distractions. If you’re not yet married, pray for your future wife.

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