Is Your Spouse Your Priority?

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife…” – Genesis 2:24a

In our marriage discussions this week, we’ve looked at marriage in Heaven and the importance of having only one spouse. Over the next two days, we will look at The Four Laws of Love from Pastor Jimmy Evans’ book by the same name that are outlined in Genesis 2. God established these four laws during creation before sin entered the world and before our planet was cursed. This is how it was when God declared it all very good.

The first is the Law of Priority. Genesis 2:24 states that a man “shall leave his father and mother.” This is differentiation and independence. Differentiation means that you begin to take responsibility for yourself and are no longer reliant on your parents. You become an independent person who is trying to seek the things that God would have for you to do apart from your family. If you’re currently in college, you may not be able to completely differentiate. Sometimes you’re at home and sometimes you’re on campus. You may be working a part-time job and sometimes you’re a son/daughter and other times an independent person. Nevertheless, this is a step in the right direction. If you’re single and out of college, it’s crucial that you begin to differentiate so you can be ready for marriage. 

Once you’re married, you have a series of priorities that need to remain in a specific order. If those priorities get out of order, it begins to cause problems. That order is first, your relationship with God, second, your relationship with your spouse, third, your kids, and fourth everybody/everything else. 

If your family is not well-architected and the Law of Priority is not adhered to, your marriage will start to crater. Why? It was never a priority. What tends to happen is after a married couple has kids, there is a temptation to make their whole lives revolve around their kids and to put them as a higher priority than the marriage. Then the kids leave the house, and the marriage falls apart. The one thing that was holding the couple together is gone. Your marriage to your spouse must remain a priority. How can you do this? Align your priorities with how God’s divine design intended, and God will bless them.

The second law is the Law of Pursuit. The second half of Genesis 2:24 says for the man to “hold fast to his wife”. This law requires you to ask yourself, “Where does my time, energy, and money go?” and it should be according to your priorities. Your priorities should establish the allocation of your time, energy, money, and what you pursue. When it says that “he will hold fast,” some translations will say “cleave to his wife.” That means the man is going to put his energy into his marriage. In order to have a good marriage, it takes a lot of work. 

If God, your spouse, and your kids are your priority, your passionate pursuit of energy has to be toward your priorities. However, what often happens is other people and things try to take your time, energy, and money. They try to reorient your priorities. This can be especially common with your extended family. They may make demands and not understand that when you got married, you started your own family. As a husband or wife, you must fight for your family and pursue the correct order of priorities with all diligence. If you’re married, your pursuit should be for your God, your spouse and your kids. If you’re single, your pursuit should be to prepare yourself to be a strong Christian husband or wife, father or mother. Tomorrow, we will discuss the next two marriage laws. 

How are you doing with the Laws of Priority and Pursuit in your marriage? Is there anything you need to adjust so you can better adhere to these laws?

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