The Oar of Forgiveness

Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

This contains excerpts from the new book “Real Romance: Sex in the Song of Songs”. To purchase the book, click here, and to access the sermon series that accompanies these devos and this book, click here. 

Yesterday, we started with the metaphor of marriage being like trying to row a boat together. Repentance and Forgiveness are like the two oars we pull to keep the boat moving in the right direction. We looked at the Oar of Repentance and, today, we’ll look at the Oar of Forgiveness.

The Oar of Forgiveness is: 

  • Overcoming the sin to have a healthy relationship
  • Accepting their repentance as genuine 
  • Releasing your spouse from vengeance through punishment or payment

Forgiveness is not shallow words you say but what you deeply believe as you “forgive…from your heart” as Jesus taught. (1) Forgiveness is not excusing their sin, denying their sin, pretending it never happened, or blame shifting the wrongdoing to someone or something else. 

When our spouse sins against us, forgiveness can easily seem that it is between us and them. While that is true, our willingness to forgive our spouse is a matter that is between us and God more than between us and them. 

  1. Matthew 18:35

In what areas do you need to use the “OAR” of Forgiveness with your spouse this week or, if you’re not yet married, with another close friend or family member?