The Oar of Repentance

Song of Songs 6:3 (NIV) – I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine; he browses among the lilies.

This contains excerpts from the new book “Real Romance: Sex in the Song of Songs”. To purchase the book, click here, and to access the sermon series that accompanies these devos and this book, click here. 

If you’ve ever tried to go boating together with your spouse using oars, then you quickly learn that there’s three options, and only one works. 

  1. You can both not row, and the result is that you go nowhere and are stuck indefinitely.
  2. One of you can row but not the other, and the result is that you go around in circles.
  3. You can row together, each pulling on your oar, and make forward progress that builds momentum.

Since a husband and wife are in the same boat, they need to learn how to use the oars of repentance and forgiveness. Repentance is what we do wrong – when we sin, act foolishly or selfishly, and hurt our spouse. Forgiveness is what we do when they wrong us. It does not matter which person pulls on their oar first; for there to be a loving, healthy marriage relationship, both the husband and wife need to learn how to use both oars, and we’ll look at these over the next couple of days.

The Oar of Repentance is: 

  • Owning your sin
  • Apologizing for your sin to God and your spouse
  • Reversing your sin so that the future is different than the past

Real Repentance tells the whole truth. Real repentance does not make excuses but instead makes changes. Real repentance does not blame anyone or anything for sin. Real repentance understands that if Jesus died for something, then it’s a big deal, and if we don’t deal with it, then it will kill our marriage. 

In what areas do you need to use the “OAR” of Repentance with your spouse this week or, if you’re not yet married, with another close friend or family member?