Genesis 3:9 – But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”
It’s very curious that in Genesis 3, after Adam and Eve sin following Satan’s deception, God comes looking for Adam first. Even though they both sinned, Eve by commission and Adam by omission, God still approaches Adam first and foremost.
Even though Eve sinned, hers was due to deception but the same reasoning isn’t afforded to Adam (2 Timothy 2:13-14). She thought she was being helpful, thinking that if her husband wouldn’t step up, she would. When the Serpent came slithering along to wreck their lives, marriage, and family, Adam just stepped aside and welcomed the Deceiver into their lives like a Walmart greeter for Satan.
Soon after, God comes along and asks Adam “Where are you?” Clearly God knew where Adam was, but this rhetorical question was intended to have Adam self-reflect on how he had gotten himself into this situation. It’s my belief that, even in today’s time, if there’s an issue with your wife, your family, or your marriage, the man should be asked the same question. The husband is primarily in charge of protecting his family.
I’ve heard several guys say that they hate fighting, but that’s not the point. You may not like fighting but in this world, men are going to have to fight for their families. The love for your family has to be stronger than your desire to avoid conflict.
This reminds me of a counseling session I had some years ago with a girl and her dad and she wanted to recount to him some of the pain that he had caused her as she grew up. She had been dating a very terrible, abusive guy and her dad just stood by and didn’t do anything to intervene. He allowed her to be taken advantage of and abused and she tried to tell him how much that hurt her.
Not understanding his part to play in the hurt, the dad looked at me and said “I don’t understand. I didn’t do anything.” I can’t exactly repeat what I said to him in that moment but his statement is exactly the point. He didn’t do anything, and his daughter was the casualty.
The question is not whether the man is the head of the family but whether he’s a good head or bad head. The fact that the man is the head does not mean he’s bullying or domineering but that he loves, sacrifices, and serves his wife and kids, reminding them of the way Jesus loves, sacrifices for, and serves them.
You may ask “What could Adam have done differently?” The answer is everything. He should’ve gotten in the middle of a snake trying to attack his wife, sent Eve to a safe distance, and fought. He should’ve called out to God for help. These are the same things men can do today – be a lamb with your family and a lion for your family, always calling out to God for help in times of trouble, trial, and temptation.
Men, how can you be a better head for your family or prepare to be a godly head for your future family one day? Women, how can you come alongside your husbands to encourage and support them as they lead and protect your family?
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