26 Aug How do you emotionally heal from a hurt? (Proverbs)
Our story – most difficult season invited wise counsel. Unique biblical insight, way of helping
The Hurt Cycle
- Life hurts. Financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically etc.
- We experience hurt – then we 1. interpret why it happened and 2. our response
1). Evil- justify hurting others out of your hurt
2), Foolish – ignore, blame shift, excuse make, deferred life maintenance until pain
3). Wise – seeks God and wise counsel to interpret the root cause & solution
- Wise counsel listens to hurt person 1.What happened? 2. Why? 3. How responding?
- You know you’ve hit a hurt when someone overreacts
- Wisdom is knowing which truth applies to each person/situation
- We worsen hurt when we give the wrong prescription
Job is a case study in misdiagnosis
- Is your hurt caused by your sin?
Proverbs 20:9 [NIV] Who can say, “I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin”?
- We all fail and fall so we need to be willing to not just feel hurt but consider why
- Wisdom requires we seek patterns to our behavior
Proverbs 19:3 [ESV] When a man’s folly brings his way to ruin, his heart rages against the Lord.
- Sometimes we are angry at God and feel justified in bad behavior
- Until the heart has the “want to” there is no benefit from the “how to”
Proverbs 14:16 [ESV] One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless.
- Solution: Repentance is turning away from evil, change of 1. head 2. heart 3. hands
- Did someone sin against you and hurt you?
Proverbs 14:10 [ESV] The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy.
- Torment moves into a bitter heart
- Unforgiveness robs life of all joy
- Relive & Retell
Proverbs 23:17 [ESV] Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the Lord all the day.
- Temptation to return evil for evil (vengeance, self-justify)
Proverbs 24:17 [ESV] Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles…
- Test of forgiveness is whether you want them to be blessed or cursed
What forgiveness is not
- Forgiveness is often a private matter between only you and God.
- Forgiveness is both a one-time event and an ongoing process. (Matt 18:21-22 70X7)
- Forgiveness is not enabling crime, foolishness, irresponsibility, or sin.
- Forgiveness is not trust or reconciliation.
- Your forgiveness is not God’s forgiveness. (cross or hell)
- Responding to Jesus instead of the hurt (forgiven people should forgive people)
- Transferring the burden to God
- Stopping trying to control people and outcomes
- Letting go of both the sin and the stress
- What powerful lies are you believing?
Proverbs 14:25 [ESV] A truthful witness saves lives, but one who breathes out lies is deceitful.
- Life decisions are based upon truth/reality; or lies/deception
Proverbs 12:17 [ESV] Whoever speaks the truth gives honest evidence, but a false witness utters deceit.
- When hurt, Satan and people working for him show up to give false witness
- Wisely choose who you listen to & learn from
- You are the loudest voice in your life
- What foolish choices have made your life harder?
Proverbs 14:14 [ESV] The backslider in heart will be filled with the fruit of his ways, and a good man will be filled with the fruit of his ways.
- Sliding back to foolish choices
Proverbs 23:23 [NLT] Get the truth and never sell it; also get wisdom, discipline, and good judgment.
- Principle of sowing-reaping
- Principles of delayed gratification
- How has life broken you?
Proverbs 15:13 [ESV] A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.
Proverbs 17:22 [NLT] A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.
- Bad people & broken people can be hard to distinguish
2 kinds of brokenness 1). Hopeless – not taken to God to remake 2). Hopeful – God rebuilds
= Reset and rehabilitate – body or soul
- Do you feel guilty, dirty, or undeserving?
Proverbs 30:12 [ESV] There are those who are clean in their own eyes but are not washed of their filth.
- Bible uses dozen words – defilement, unclean, filth,
- Causes shame, hiding, fig leaves to cover up
Identity based on 1). What I have done 2). What done to me 3). What done for me JC
- Who or what do you fear?
Proverbs 12:25 [ESV] Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down…
Proverbs 3:24 [NLT] You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly.
- Fear of tomorrow robs you of today
- Fear turns us into false prophets
- Fear is most gripping for trauma victims, high control people, & false prophets
Proverbs 29:25 [NLT] Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.
Fear of man. Their opinion matters too much. Your decision based upon their reaction
- Have you hardened your heart?
Proverbs 28:14 [ESV] Blessed is the one who fears the Lord always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity.
- Life does not determine the condition of your heart, you do
“The same sun that melts the ice hardens the clay”
- Hard heart leads to a non-relational lifestyle with God & the people who love us most