Father Wound

6 Ways God Delivered Abram

In this talk from Real Men, Pastor Mark shows six different areas where God delivered Abram, who later became Abraham – from a bad father, culture, cult, marriage problem, death, and, ultimately, legacy.

Pray Like Jesus #1 – Jesus’ Secret to Prayer

This introduction to the Pray Like Jesus series introduces Jesus’ secret to prayer, healing the father wound, and the idea of God being Father rather than master and that we, as God’s kids, should feel like son rather than slave.

8 Kinds of Dads

Whether or not you grew up in a Christian home, had a good or bad earthly father, and no matter what your relationship is with the Heavenly Father, we hope you learn to pray like Jesus by studying His prayers. Prayer is a complex topic, and this study guide will only scratch the surface of … Read more

The Father Wound

Malachi 4:5-6 – “Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes. And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.” Matthew 27:46 – And about the ninth … Read more

Jesus Heals Father Wounds

Jesus lived from His Father’s identity, reflected His Father’s heart, and did His Father’s work and, as His people, He wants to empower us to do the same after healing wounds our earthly fathers might’ve caused us.

Healing the Father Wound

Romans 8:14-17 – For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.

John 14:6 – Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

Mark 15:34 – And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

To heal the father wound, you need to forgive the earthly father(s) who failed you. This forgiveness will remove the demonic foothold that bitterness brings. Once you forgive your earthly father, your heart will be opened to receive the relationship you need with your heavenly Father.

When a child gets adopted, he needs to get used to having a father and spend time getting to know his new father and family. To become a Christian is to get a new family (the church) and a new Father (God).

Healing from the father wound leaves people open to the Holy Spirit of adoption and sonship. As you walk away from the demonic spirits of the father wound and by the Spirit walk with the Father, you will experience radical life change.

Many Christians understand conviction and forgiveness but have not yet experienced the Father’s healing because of their father wounds. Although you may be a Christian, you may have not yet made the full journey from Jesus to the Father. The Holy Spirit brings you to Jesus. Then Jesus brings you to the Father. The Spirit convicts you of sin and brings you to Jesus for the forgiveness of sin. Jesus forgives your sin and then brings you to the Father for healing.

On the cross, Jesus asked the Father, “Why have you forsaken me?” When He endured the Father wound, He broke a spiritual curse and reconciled us back to our Father so that we would not experience the forsaking that He did. Jesus Christ took our place and endured a Father wound so that ours could be healed.

To order the new book from Pastor Mark & Grace Driscoll “Win Your War”, visit: https://amzn.to/2YuhoDn.

For the entire eight-week “Win Your War” sermon series from Pastor Mark, visit www.markdriscoll.org or the Mark Driscoll Ministries app.

The Absalom Spirit

2 Samuel 15:2-6 – And Absalom used to rise early and stand beside the way of the gate. And when any man had a dispute to come before the king for judgment, Absalom would call to him and say, “From what city are you?” And when he said, “Your servant is of such and such a tribe in Israel,” Absalom would say to him, “See, your claims are good and right, but there is no man designated by the king to hear you.” Then Absalom would say, “Oh that I were judge in the land! Then every man with a dispute or cause might come to me, and I would give him justice.” And whenever a man came near to pay homage to him, he would put out his hand and take hold of him and kiss him. Thus Absalom did to all of Israel who came to the king for judgment. So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.

Absalom was one of the many sons of King David. His sister Tamar was sexually assaulted by their half-brother Amnon, who further dishonored her by rejecting her. To care for his sister, Absalom had his sister live with him while expecting their father, David, to care for and protect his daughter. For two years David did nothing for Tamar, and Absalom seethed with bitterness against David and Amnon.

Absalom murdered his half-brother. With the father wound unhealed, Absalom began a covert campaign to usurp his father, David, and take the throne. Over time “Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.” He succeeded in overthrowing his father, which forced King David to flee.

Absalom was so bitter that he personally led the charge to kill his father. This gave David time to prepare and rout Absalom’s forces. While fleeing the battle on a mule, Absalom’s long hair got caught in some oak tree branches, which killed him. This was not what David wanted, because he still loved his son, and David grieved the death of Absalom.

An unhealed father wound that invites the Absalom spirit compels men (and sometimes women) to believe that if they were in the position of highest leadership, they would do a better job of defending the hurting and caring for the needy. As a result, they seek to form unholy alliances and overthrow established governance. This can be a son overtaking a father in the home, a spiritual son overtaking a spiritual father in a church, or a team member overtaking a leader in an organization.

Though evil and proud, it is done in the name of love, care, and protection, much like Satan, who felt he could do a better job than God and had angels who felt the same.

To order the new book from Pastor Mark & Grace Driscoll “Win Your War”, visit: https://amzn.to/2YuhoDn.

For the entire eight-week “Win Your War” sermon series from Pastor Mark, visit www.markdriscoll.org or the Mark Driscoll Ministries app.

Six Ways to Identify a Father Wound

1 Corinthians 13:11 – When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.

1 Corinthians 4:15 – For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.

Like a poker player has a “tell” that reveals their hand, people with a Father wound also have a “tell” that reveals their hurt. Here are the six which are, perhaps, most common:


People with father wounds often have great fears about getting married and having children; they fear becoming like their fathers and causing the kind of pain for their children that they experienced as a child.


Good fathers help us to grow up, take responsibility, and make the move from child to adult. Today, men are taking longer to grow up and are less likely than their female counterparts to be in college, have a job, attend church, or even have a driver’s license.


A father wound causes a person to see authority as dangerous, unsafe, and untrustworthy. As a result, they rebel against it. In more moderate forms the father wound causes people to be suspicious of leadership and prefer governance structures in the home or church where there is no leader rather than a team of fully equal leaders.


In a healthy home with godly parents the center of the home is God, followed by the marital relationship of mom and dad, then followed by the children. Children who grow up with a healthy father in a healthy family know they are not the center of the universe. Otherwise they are over-mothered, under-fathered, and selfish.

Warped view of God

Our view of God is often a projection or rejection of our imperfect earthly dad onto God. Atheism says I have no Father. Reformed theology says I have a Father who is not very relational. Liberal theology says I have a Father who acts more like an enabling older sibling and does not tell me what to do but helps me do whatever I want.

Lack of real-life mentors

People with father wounds have a hard time connecting to wise, older men or women who can train them. They avoid this type of relationship.

To order the new book from Pastor Mark & Grace Driscoll “Win Your War”, visit: https://amzn.to/2YuhoDn.

For the entire eight-week “Win Your War” sermon series from Pastor Mark, visit www.markdriscoll.org or the Mark Driscoll Ministries app.

Spiritual Parents

1 Timothy 5:1-2 – Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.

Galatians 4:19 – …my little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you!

James 5:14 – Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.

1 Corinthians 8:1 – Now concerning food offered to idols: we know that “all of us possess knowledge.” This “knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up.

In addition to physical parents the Bible teaches that we also have spiritual parents. This explains why we ought “not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father” and to treat “older women as mothers.”

Paul was a spiritual father himself. He refers to Timothy, Titus, and Onesimus as “sons” and calls the Christians in Galatia “my little children.”

When the Bible talks about older leaders laying on hands to anoint and appoint younger leaders, that means ministry transfers relationally. You cannot lay hands on anyone through the internet—you have to do life with them. Laying your hands on yet another book is not the same as someone laying their hands on you. One godly and wise real-life mentor is worth more than a thousand books and downloaded sermons because he or she knows you personally.

We can receive wounds from our spiritual fathers. Sometimes this pain cuts doubly deep. If someone has a failed father and then comes into the church family only to have a failed spiritual father, they have the painful double portion of a father wound.

But if you don’t let godly leaders into the down and dirty of your day to day, that’s a problem. The result is knowledge, which puffs up, and not love, which builds up. You can become an emotionally unhealthy person who thinks God provided Bible verses to beat people up rather than build people up.

To order the new book from Pastor Mark & Grace Driscoll “Win Your War”, visit: https://amzn.to/2YuhoDn.

For the entire eight-week “Win Your War” sermon series from Pastor Mark, visit www.markdriscoll.org or the Mark Driscoll Ministries app.