God rightly compares marriage to a vine. You’ve got to invest a lot, and you’ve got to wait a long time. You’re going to need to be patient and tending to it if you want it to grow and be fruitful. Adultery is like a Weed eater that carelessly severs the vine’s base, killing it in an instant.
The most important person in your life is your father. He has more power than anyone to influence you—for good or for evil. Hearing the word “father,” does it conjure up amazing memories, or does it cause you to sense loss because he has abandoned, betrayed, failed you? What kind of father are or will you be? Strive to become like Father God and bless your children the way he has blessed you.
In life and at the cross, God works through reversals. Repentance from us plus reversals from God equals rejoicing. God’s people in Persia were sentenced to death, but in a reversal, they put their enemies to death. With this reversal, God’s people went from mourning and fasting to rejoicing and feasting. Our sin brought us death, but in the greatest reversal, Jesus’ death brought us life.
Xerxes was the greatest king in the history of the world to his day, but in his kingdom, addictions were fed, men were castrated, and women were mistreated. Every generation chases the same foolish myth: if we could just get a good king with a good kingdom, then we’d have a heavenly life on a fallen earth. But when fallen, faulty, flawed sinners sit on a throne, you never get a glorious kingdom.
When the Corinthians asked the Apostle Paul a list of questions about sex, he directed them to consider three categories: 1) Is it lawful? 2) Is it helpful? and 3) Is it enslaving? Pastor Mark encourages married couples to do the same, so that they may be free in Christ to enjoy one another and use whatever freedom they prayerfully agree is acceptable to them.
Jesus is the unselfish servant, but we are all selfish. Our selfishness is rooted in pride; we believe “I’m more important than you.” Proud people are selfish lovers, in and out of the bedroom (and most problems in the bedroom are the result of problems outside of the bedroom). Selfishness shows up in the “little things,” the little foxes that gnaw at and destroy the roots of the precious vine of a marriage. Are you proud and selfish, or are you a humble servant, by the grace of God?
Porn hurts God. Porn hurts men, women, and children. Porn hurts marriages. There is no such thing as free porn. Crissy (iamatreasure.com), a former pastor’s daughter who grew up to be a porn star and has since returned to a vibrant relationship with Jesus, shares her story and realities of the porn industry. Those of you on the porn path: Jesus died so you can kill your sin before it kills you. Recommended Resources: Treasures – A unique, faith-based outreach and support group for women in the sex industry. Books: Porn-Again Christian Redemption Rid of My Disgrace
Sexual assault is an epidemic: 1 of 4 women and 1 of 6 men have been assaulted—including Pastor Mark’s wife, Grace. Sin would leave us as shamed, defiled victims, but in Jesus, we are cleansed from all unrighteousness if today we turn from sin and trust in him. Two key books on assault from Mars Hill leaders: Rid of My Disgrace and Redemption .
Before sin entered the world, God created sex for marriage between one man and one woman. People distort this gift and tend to see sex as either god or gross. However, the Bible gives six ways in which sex is a gift from God: for pleasure, children, knowledge, protection, comfort, and oneness. When God tells you to be faithful to your spouse, to practice chastity before marriage, to enjoy fidelity within marriage, what he’s saying is, “I want the best for you.”
Every house—like any relationship, particularly a marriage—has trash that must be taken out. You’re going to sin against each other. Trash is going to accumulate. If you don’t take out the trash, it will stink up the whole relationship. Don’t fight with criticism, contempt, defensiveness, or stonewalling. Rather, fight to the glory of God by recognizing sin and repenting of sin. Repentance is three things: confession, contrition, and change. It takes a sinner to repent. It takes a victim to forgive. It takes two people to reconcile. The only way your relationship will be enduring and endearing is if repentance of sin and forgiveness of sin are practiced; otherwise, it will not get better, it will get bitter.
Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. Every covenant—including the new covenant of salvation—has a head, who is ultimately responsible for the covenant. The husband is the covenant head of a marriage; he is responsible for his marriage, his wife, and his kids. Similarly, Christ took that which was not his fault—our sin—and he made it his responsibility on the cross. He is our covenant head.
God the Trinity is a friend and has friends, and he made us in his image and likeness for friendship with him and one another. Marriage is about friendship. Your spouse is to be your “lover and friend” (Song 5:16); in other words, your friend with benefits. Marital friendship is to be: Fruitful, Reciprocal, Intimate, Enjoyable, Needed, Devoted, Sanctifying. How’s your friendship with Jesus? With your spouse?