{"id":23414,"date":"2023-01-31T22:34:44","date_gmt":"2023-02-01T05:34:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/realfaith.com\/?p=23414"},"modified":"2023-10-04T15:23:53","modified_gmt":"2023-10-04T22:23:53","slug":"real-romance-3-overcoming-intimacy-obstacles-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/realfaith.com\/sermons\/real-romance-3-overcoming-intimacy-obstacles-4\/","title":{"rendered":"Real Romance #3 &#8211; Overcoming Intimacy Obstacles","gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"text"}]},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-18bd0767 alignfull\">\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-c6970ddb\">\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-8d02ef71 gb-accordion\">\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-46e421aa gb-accordion__item\" data-transition=\"slide\">\n\n<button class=\"gb-button gb-button-d40320a9 gb-accordion__toggle\"><span class=\"gb-button-text\">Sermon Notes<\/span><span class=\"gb-icon\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" viewBox=\"0 0 448 512\" width=\"1em\" height=\"1em\" ariahidden=\"true\" role=\"img\" class=\"gb-accordion__icon\"><path d=\"M207.029 381.476L12.686 187.132c-9.373-9.373-9.373-24.569 0-33.941l22.667-22.667c9.357-9.357 24.522-9.375 33.901-.04L224 284.505l154.745-154.021c9.379-9.335 24.544-9.317 33.901.04l22.667 22.667c9.373 9.373 9.373 24.569 0 33.941L240.971 381.476c-9.373 9.372-24.569 9.372-33.942 0z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" viewBox=\"0 0 448 512\" width=\"1em\" height=\"1em\" ariahidden=\"true\" role=\"img\" class=\"gb-accordion__icon-open\"><path d=\"M240.971 130.524l194.343 194.343c9.373 9.373 9.373 24.569 0 33.941l-22.667 22.667c-9.357 9.357-24.522 9.375-33.901.04L224 227.495 69.255 381.516c-9.379 9.335-24.544 9.317-33.901-.04l-22.667-22.667c-9.373-9.373-9.373-24.569 0-33.941L207.03 130.525c9.372-9.373 24.568-9.373 33.941-.001z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><\/span><\/button>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-accordion__content\"><div class=\"gb-container gb-container-f3e44ae0\">\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Overcoming Intimacy Obstacles<\/strong>: Song of Songs 2:8-3:5 (Real Romance Ch 3 Skipped 2)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><u>Sonoma Visit<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>-Marriage = Vineyard<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>-Little Foxes = Issues<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our <strong><u>\u201cLittle Foxes\u201d<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mark early; Grace late. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Mark big potato chips; Grace&nbsp; smaller crumbs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mark introvert; Grace extrovert. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Mark likes football; Grace really dislikes football.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mark organized; Grace more random.&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Mark pessimist; Grace optimist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mark impatient; Grace patient. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Mark driving windows down; Grace does not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mark not nervous public speaking; Grace is. Mark writing sex book fun; Grace&#8230;not so much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00b7&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; First days \u2013 best behavior, dressed up, breath mint, drive nice, chew food, 0 farts<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00b7&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Over time \u2013 irritated \u2013 not God\u2019s laws but our rules<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>US: Dishwasher? &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Guy TV?&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Add to dinner? &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Toilet seat up\/down? ??YOU??<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><u>Flirting<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Song of Songs 2:8-13 [She] Listen! My beloved! Look! Here he comes, leaping across the mountains, bounding over the hills. My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Look! There he stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows, peering through the lattice. My beloved spoke and said to me, [He] \u201cArise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me. See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>1. Anticipation = planning @ parents house, peering out window, excited for their date<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>2. Ministry of Presence \u2013 being together Jesus &amp; Holy Spirit (\u201cLiving Alone Apart\u201d)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>3. Nicknames = &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Cursing\/Blessing;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Reap\/Sow<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>She says\u201d \u201cyoung stag\/stud\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>He says, \u201cmy darling, my beautiful one\u201d 2:14 \u201cdove\u201d \u2013 peace, faithful mate lifetime, HS<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>SEASONS: \u201cSPRING\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>-Seasons of Marriage \u2013 dating, engaged, new married, kids, work, health, move, empty nest<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>-Seasons in Marriage\u2013 Winter (cold); Spring (warm up); Summer (hot); Fall (cooling down)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><u>From Flirting (spring) to Fighting (winter)<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Song of Songs 2:14-15 [He] My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol type=\"1\" start=\"1\">\n<li>-She is Verbal, He is Visual<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Compliments \u2013 \u201cyour voice is sweet\u201d, \u201cyour face is lovely\u201d (deposits vs withdrawals)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>= OUR EARLY MARRIAGE FAILS<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>= they go from flirt to flight quickly<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>COMMON \u201cFOXES\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol type=\"1\" start=\"1\">\n<li>Differences<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>=spender\/saver; night owl\/early bird, introvert\/extrovert, neatnik\/messy, toilet seat up\/down<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol type=\"1\" start=\"2\">\n<li>Priorities \u2013 (law of jealousy)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Boundaries (ex, family, friends, work, technology)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Disorganization (schedule, budget, household, bedtime)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Past pain, or shame<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Technology<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Little Foxes ?? When ?? 1).Day off 2). Holiday 3). Vacation 4). Covid = more time together<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><u>3 Types of Homes<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol type=\"1\" start=\"1\">\n<li>Random Homes<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Closed Homes<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Open Homes<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>=Grace and I. Early marriage. Ministry. Kids<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><u>Fight For Your Marriage, Not With Your Spouse<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Song of Songs 2:16-3:4 [She] My beloved is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies. Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, turn, my beloved, and be like a gazelle or like a young stag on the rugged hills.&nbsp; All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him. The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. \u201cHave you seen the one my heart loves?\u201d Scarcely had I passed them when I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go till I had brought him to my mother\u2019s house, to the room of the one who conceived me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00b7&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; ??Unknown fox in vineyard??<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00b7&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Abbi\u2019s guilty this time<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00b7&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Solomon \u201cstonewalls\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00b7&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Abbi makes first move (repenting\/owning)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Genesis 2:24 \u201ccleave\u201d, \u201cbe joined\u201d, \u201cbecome united\u201d, \u201cstick with\u201d, \u201chold fast\u201d, or \u201ccling to\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>SOS 2:16 \u201cMy beloved is mine and I am his&#8230;\u201d = mutual belonging<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>= Strong vs Independent<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><u>The Four Horsemen of Marriage Apocalypse<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>1.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Criticism \u2013 The person does not have a problem, they are the problem<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>2.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Contempt &#8211; Sneering, mocking, name calling, eye rolling, and volume raising.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>3.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Defensiveness \u2013 Make excuses and blame shift, double down, change the subject.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>4.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Stonewalling &#8211; Tune out, practice the silent treatment, leave the room, drive away. Most often it\u2019s husband as in Song of Songs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>John Gottman. Predicts divorce 91% accuracy<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cHarsh Startup\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2 ways to talk about the Little Fox&nbsp; 1). Heaven Down &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 2). Hell Up<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>30 Years<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>#1. Both sinners so be a Christian &amp; forgive\/repent<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>#2. Both annoying<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol type=\"1\" start=\"1\">\n<li>Progress not perfection<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You can be alone or annoyed (one day you might be alone &amp; wish you were annoyed)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In this sermon, Pastor Mark preaches from Song of Songs 2:8-3:5 and &#8220;Real Romance&#8221; Chapter 3 on the times when flirting becomes fighting and how couples can fight FOR their marriages, not WITH their spouses.<\/p>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"author":6,"featured_media":41540,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_eb_attr":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_relevanssi_hide_post":"","_relevanssi_hide_content":"","_relevanssi_pin_for_all":"","_relevanssi_pin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_unpin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_include_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_exclude_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_no_append":"","_relevanssi_related_not_related":"","_relevanssi_related_posts":"13885,17415,16211,15667,16264,18131","_relevanssi_noindex_reason":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[386],"tags":[],"ministries":[195],"topics":[],"series":[509],"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"link","format":"url"}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/realfaith.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23414"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/realfaith.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/realfaith.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realfaith.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realfaith.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23414"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/realfaith.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23414\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":40695,"href":"https:\/\/realfaith.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23414\/revisions\/40695"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realfaith.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/41540"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/realfaith.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23414"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realfaith.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23414"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realfaith.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23414"},{"taxonomy":"ministries","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realfaith.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ministries?post=23414"},{"taxonomy":"topics","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realfaith.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/topics?post=23414"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realfaith.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=23414"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}