“Likewise, husbands live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel since they are heirs with you of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered.” – 1 Peter 3:7
As we learn how to honor our wives from 1 Peter 3:7, let’s look at the previous verse, 1 Peter 3:6. Peter said that women are prone toward fear when it comes to marriage. The fears that women have about marriage are legitimate. If a woman marries a man, she’s trusting him with the rest of her life. She’s trusting that he won’t hit her or cheat on her. She’s trusting that he’ll work hard, pay the bills, love their children, and walk with Jesus till the end. It is a terrifying thing for a woman to trust a sinful man. Women have legitimate fears. And what Peter is saying is that men need to act in a particular way so that those fears are alleviated. That way includes understanding and honor. That is a man.
Over the next two days, we will look at eight ways to honor our wives, looking at four today and four more tomorrow:
- Maritally: What this means is that you’re not looking for a roommate, or a cohabitation partner, you’re looking for a wife. Being Christ-like is what is necessary. Ephesians 5:25 says “husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Are you selfless or selfish? Do you give of yourself to your wife, or do you take from your wife? When you get married, you need to be a one-woman man. That’s the requirement of an elder and that is the example for all men. Do you honor your marriage covenant? Do you take responsibility as the head of the marriage covenant and take responsibility for the wellbeing of your wife?
- Physically: Peter says that the woman is the “weaker vessel.” You are stronger than your wife. Have you ever hit her? Do you ever shove her? Do you ever grab or restrain her? Do you ever raise a hand and threaten her? Do you ever intimidate her with physical violence? Do you get right in her face? Do you intimidate her with your presence? There are some guys who think that when the Bible says that men are the head of the home, that it means they get to be the bully. They’re idiots. Your job as a husband is to make your wife feel physically safe with you.
- Emotionally: Some men say they aren’t emotional and that they don’t connect. They should. Men and women have the same emotions, but they express them in masculine and feminine ways. Your wife needs intimacy. That means “into me see.” She wants you to know her. She wants to know you. There are too many guys that turn marriage into a job description and there’s no emotional connection whatsoever. Those are the guys who exhibit the sin of omission. They say they don’t hit or yell at their wives, but they don’t love them, connect with them, or pursue them.
- Verbally: How do you speak to your wife? Do you raise your voice? Do you threaten her? When your wife is not there and you’re with the boys, how do you speak of her? What do you say about her? Your children will pick up on this. If you start saying horrible things about your wife, the children will be left in this awful position of choosing between their mother and father. Invariably, some of the children will despise their own mother and speak evil of her in an effort to remain loyal to their father. A division in a marriage includes the children. They’re stuck in the middle. They’re casualties of the war. Men can diffuse this and take away this fear by honoring her verbally and speaking honestly, respectfully, and lovingly to her and about her. Even when your wife’s not there, God is. God sees and hears everything and you’re not getting away with anything.
In tomorrow’s devotional, we’ll look at four more ways men can honor their wives.
-Men, how are you doing at honoring your wife in each of these four areas?
-Women, do you need to communicate a need to your husband regarding any of these areas?
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