Ephesians 5:31 – “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
Practically, husband and wife in a covenant marriage are supposed to make decisions together so that they are united as “one”, with the husband taking the first responsibility for leading and loving his family.
The problem with a dysfunctional family system is that it negates the leadership of healthy loving male heads. When a wife sides with her extended family, or even her female friend group, that oversteps their authority with enmeshment, and it puts the husband in a difficult position.
He can either separate from her extended family or friend group of “sisters” – staying home from family gatherings, holidays, and vacations, while she is with them instead of her own family – so that she has practically chosen to reject him for their acceptance.
When a husband sides with extended family on either side, or his friend group of “brothers”, it also puts the wife in an impossible position because she cannot respect him, because he is passive and a follower rather than being active and a leader.
One of the main reasons marriage and family is cratering is because we have lost the concept of covenant marriage. The reason each generation of men is getting weaker, less committed to marriage, and less interested in fatherhood is because we have a culture that hates headship.
Without being critical or bitter, which people have you personally known that tried to do marriage without a covenant mindset? What happened to them and their marriage? What can you learn from their example?
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