Is Patriarchy Really a Bad Thing?

Ephesians 5:33 – However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

To speak against covenant marriage and families, progressive culture against the Bible driven by feminism and cultural Marxism speaks against the oppression of “patriarchy”. The dictionary definition of patriarchy is, “a form of social organization in which the father is the supreme authority in the family, clan, or tribe and descent is reckoned in the male line, with the children belonging to the father’s clan or tribe.” (1)

The Bible is patriarchal. The family genealogies are traced through the men. The world is patriarchal whether progressives like it or not. We only have three options. 

One, we can discourage men from being godly, loving, sacrificial heads like Jesus and the result will be men using their strength not to bless women and children, but instead to burden women and children. This is currently an epidemic with things like sexual assault, fornication, domestic violence, abortion, and fatherlessness. 

Two, we can deny that we need men to have a strong and healthy society for generations. This is an increasing crisis as we are encouraging boys to be girls and men to be soft, passive, weak, and woke. 

Three, we can demand that men use their God-given strength and authority to protect and provide for women and children by becoming humble servant leaders like Jesus Christ. This is what the Bible demands and is the only hope for a healthy world for all people, starting with women and children. 

The marriage covenant is only between two people and their God. This is why, in a marriage, a father walks a daughter down the aisle and physically gives her away to enter into covenant and form a new family with her husband. The Christian wedding ceremony is meant to illustrate these covenant principles openly and publicly so that everyone present as a witness understands that the marriage covenant is just two people:

  • 2 people stand on the altar of the church. We do not allow the mother-in-law to join them. 
  • 2 people exchange vows. We do not allow the father-in-law to join them. 
  • 2 people exchange rings. We do not allow the siblings to wear the rings, even if they feel sad because they were excluded. 
  • 2 people sign a marriage license. We do not allow the grandparents to edit the license with their own demands. 
  • 2 people go on the honeymoon. We do not invite everyone with the same last name to hang out in the honeymoon suite on the wedding night. 

In summary, you cannot have a covenant marriage if anyone other than the husband is the head and anyone other than the husband and wife are in the covenant. An enmeshed family cannot be a truly healthy and biblical family. 

What new habits would help your marriage function as a healthier covenant? (Reading the Bible together, praying together, serving at a good church, spending time with other godly couples, etc.)


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