Men, Where Are You?

“And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, ‘Where are you?’” – Genesis 3:8-9

This week, we will be studying 1 Peter 3:7 and what Peter was saying to men about marriage.But first, to understand what Peter is saying, we need to understand the first marriage. Every marriage is implicated by the first marriage. The story of the Bible is this: God made our first parents, Adam and Eve. He made Adam first as the head and leader of the family. He is the leader. He is made first. He names the woman. That’s a leadership act. God says that everything is good, but one thing is not good and that is for the man to be alone. So, God creates the woman and Genesis 2 states that the woman is to be his helper. This is not a denigrating term. In places like the Psalms and the book of Hebrews, God declares himself to be our helper. Men and women are to work together in a complimentary fashion like a right hand and a left hand. The man is to be the leader and the woman is to be the helper and they are to work together.

God then brings Adam and Eve together. He officiates the first wedding. It is one man, one woman, and one covenant. It is one flesh for one lifetime. God lays out a process for all men to follow. First, leave your mother and father. Peter echoes this. Paul echoes this. Jesus echoes this. That means men, you need to grow up, leave your mama’s house, get a job, worship God, pay your own bills, stand on your own two feet, and take care of yourself. If and when you do that, the second thing God says is that you can marry. Find a woman, love her, and then enjoy the fruit of marital union. The two become one flesh. You get intimacy with your wife. Biblically, God says that all of this is very good. Adam and Eve are in love, and everything is fine until Genesis 3.

In Genesis 3, Satan comes and engages Eve, not Adam. He twists, maligns, misrepresents, and even misquotes God’s word. Rather than ignoring him or rebuking him, Eve engages him twice. In the New Testament, Paul says that she was deceived. She was well-intended, but intentions aren’t enough. The Bible records that, as she was arguing with, agreeing with, and ultimately conspiring with Satan to disobey, dishonor, and disregard God, Adam was right there saying and doing nothing. The Bible says that she partook, and she gave some to her husband who was there with her the whole time! Many men only understand sin in terms of commission. “I didn’t steal anything, and I didn’t kill anyone.” But there is also the sin of omission. Adam’s sin was sin of omission. He didn’t stand up, he didn’t speak up, he didn’t love his wife, he didn’t lead his family. He partook as well. This caused sin separation. They hid from one another and from God. God then came in great mercy and love calling out for whom? Adam. In Genesis 3:9, God asks, “Adam, where are you?” That would be God’s call to many men today. What have you done? Where are you hiding though Eve has sinned?

God held Adam responsible because marriage is a covenant and, in every covenant, there is a head who is appointed to oversee the covenant to ensure that the covenant terms are kept and the members of the covenant are cared for. Within marriage, the man is the covenant head. That’s why, in the New Testament, you will continually read in places like 1 Peter 3, Colossians 3, Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 14, and 2 Corinthians 11 that the man is the head. This does not mean that he’s better than the woman. God holds both the man and the woman responsible for their sin, but he puts an additional burden on the man for the wellbeing of his family.

-Men, how are you doing at being present and available to lead your wife?

-Women, how are you helping and supporting your husband?

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