What’s deeper than sleeping together?

Hebrews 13:4 – Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled…

The deepest part of you is not your body, it’s your soul. You’re not a body that has a soul. You are a soul that has a body. And even when you die, your body goes into the ground and your soul goes to be with the Lord. What that means is the deepest, most profound part of you is not the physical, it’s the spiritual.

That’s why when you start a romantic relationship, you should start with the spiritual and not rush the physical. You should have a profound emotional, relational, spiritual growing connection up to your wedding day. And then you consummate the relationship physically.

The problem is, if you put the physical first, you undermine all of the spiritual. You’re living with guilt and shame. You’re not having God’s blessing because you are disobeying God’s commands. 

You know what’s deeper than sleeping together? Praying together. 

There’s a deep level of intimacy there. When you’re both in the presence of God and you’re worshipping, studying the Word of God, and you’re praying, you are getting to know one another at the deepest possible level.

And then the physical is in addition to the spiritual, but the deepest is the spiritual. That’s why couples who sleep together before marriage won’t pray together prior to marriage. It’s too intimate. 

For the men hoping to have a good marriage, you have to learn to touch your wife’s soul before you touch her body. Praying and worshipping with her builds a safe environment where she is free to trust you because you have invited God into the midst of the romantic relationship. 

My wife Grace and I have been faithfully married for 30 years. In the beginning, we got this completely wrong. We slept together before I became a Christian and this sin put at risk our entire life together. 

If you have crossed God’s line, there is forgiveness, grace, healing, and restoration for you in Jesus Christ. However, you must repent of your sin, change your mind about what you are doing, and change your behavior so that your hands are surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, and you are raising them to honor the Father and not fondle His daughter. 

We walked this path, and it was humbling and sobering. By putting God first and our spiritual relationship as our first priority, a sure foundation was built that has served us for three decades and now sets an example for our children, two of whom are happily married and one of whom who is engaged. Don’t settle for what you can get away with. Only settle for what glorifies God and what He will bless.

If you’re engaged or not yet married, I’d encourage you to create a habit of praying together. If you are married, it’s never too late to start praying together daily.

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