Should you date a non-Christian?

2 Corinthians 6:14 – Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 

Let me start by saying my wife Grace and I did this wrong and, even if you’ve done things wrong like we did, there’s still grace and hope for you. I was not a Christian and Grace was a pastor’s daughter who wasn’t walking with the Lord. I met her, thought she was adorable (I still do), and wanted to date her.

She asked “Are you a Christian? I only date Christians” so I’m like “Praise the Lord!”. So, we started dating, but I was pretending. I didn’t really know what a Christian was, I just figured “I’ll go to church, I’ll believe in God.” So, then we started sleeping together, which we shouldn’t have done.

She started to catch on to the fact that maybe I wasn’t a Christian, so she bought me a Bible hoping I’d read it and figure out where I was at with God. After I graduated high school, God separated us by about 300 miles when were in college, so we weren’t together, and I met Jesus and was born again reading that Bible in my college dorm room. So, I called Grace and was like “I met Jesus” and she had just come back into a vibrant relationship with Jesus. 

The point is this – if I had not met the Lord, there’s no way in the world this marriage would’ve worked, as we’ve now celebrated 30 years of faithful marriage. Because at the end of the day, if you both don’t have the Spirit of God, you don’t have the help you need for a healthy, holy, happy marriage. 

If the person you’re dating doesn’t understand Jesus, they can’t understand you. If they don’t know Jesus, they don’t know who is most important to you. We tend to think, “We love each other”, but love comes from God and He pours out His love by the Spirit. If they don’t have the Spirit, they don’t even have access to the same source of love you do.

Sometimes when you’re single, you think “I think we can make this work”. Now add marriage and children. And you’re like “Well the Bible says”, and they say, “I don’t believe in the Bible.” Or you say, “Let’s go to church and meet with a pastor,” and they say, “I don’t go to church.” Or you say, “Let’s pray about it” and they say, “I don’t pray.”

Jesus says a house divided against itself cannot stand. Division literally means two visions. If one of you works from the Word of God and the other doesn’t, you literally start with division, and you can’t have a household that remains upright if its foundation is built on division. It just doesn’t work. Life is hard enough when you’re trying to build it; if you’re arguing over the blueprint, you’re never going to build anything. And you need God’s Word to be the blueprint for your life.

Getting married is easy. Having a good marriage until death do you part is a miracle. If you are single, your wedding day is not a finish line, but rather a starting line. Who your God is is the most important decision you will ever make, and who your spouse is is the second most important decision you will ever make. 

If you’re a single person, I’d encourage you to watch “4 Ways Single People Can Prepare for Marriage” to help prepare you for a godly marriage:

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