Wives, Honor Your Husbands

This is a special guest devo from Pastor Mark’s daughter, Ashley, who was married in January 2020.

1 Peter 3:3-6 – Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

At first glance, this passage might seem out of place, outdated, or offensive. What could Peter possibly know about being a woman or a wife? But if we approach Scripture humbly, asking God to show us His meaning behind the words, some important guidance begins to emerge. Five things stood out to me as a newly married woman seeking to have a God-centered marriage.

  1. The word adorning comes from the Greek word kosmos, which is the same word used throughout the New Testament to describe things of “the world”. As Christians, both women and men, we need to be set apart from the world, reflecting God instead of the culture, and this is exactly what Peter is saying, even to the point of presenting ourselves in a holy way.
  2. God calls a “gentle and quiet spirit” “precious”. This is the opposite of the argumentative, quarrelsome, nagging wife that Proverbs warns against. This does not mean that women should not speak, but that they should speak from a heart that reflects the character of God, not the flesh.
  3. Submission is for a wife to her husband, not for women to men in general. Marriage is a unique covenant that by God’s design requires that the husband submit to God so that the wife can submit to Him, while ultimately submitting to God. In the same way that we submit to one God upon entering into covenant with Him, we should submit to one husband. Blindly submitting to all men goes against God’s desire to keep His daughters safe and cared for.
  4. Although Sarah was not perfect, she honored her husband with her words. Both the way that we talk to and talk about our spouses is heard by God and is a testimony to others of the health of our heart and attitude towards our spouse, so we must be careful with our words and choose words that honor.
  5. If there is hope for Sarah, who laughed at God, told her husband to commit adultery, and failed to trust God on many occasions, there is hope for all women to be redeemed by Jesus and be called God’s daughters.

What part of this passage is convicting for you? How can you ask God to work on your heart to help your marriage glorify Him?

To subscribe to Pastor Mark & Grace Driscoll’s “Real Marriage” podcast, part of the XO Marriage Podcast Network, click HERE or find it anywhere you listen to podcasts.

To download the free e-book ODD LIFE: Good God which is a study in 1 Peter for individuals, groups, and families from Pastor Mark click HERE. To listen to Pastor Mark’s 9 sermons on 1 Peter preached in the summer of 2020, click HERE. These and other resources are made possible by our ministry partners who support Real Faith as a Bible teaching ministry of Mark Driscoll Ministries to whom we say THANK YOU! 

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