Genesis #37 – How Can You Heal Up From Hurtful Relationships?

The greatest pain in our life often comes from unhealthy relationships we have with family members. This is the case with Joseph in Genesis. He was separated from his father and family for 20 years. Then, in God’s providence, they arrive in the nation he is helping lead for food during a famine completely unaware that he is there brother. Joseph has already forgiven his brothers from the heart for betraying him and selling him into slavery. But, he does not immediately trust them. Instead, he interacts with them over the course of two years to see if they have changed from being evil men. Thankfully, they have changed and as a result there is one of the most glorious reunions in all of Scripture and a picture of the nature of the eternal homecoming that awaits the family of God in the Kingdom. This is a tremendous scene of healing, help, and hope for every person, and every relationship.

Trusting God in Troubled Times 

Sermon #37 – How Can You Heal Up From Hurtful Relationships?

Genesis 44 & 45

Advice: the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life. 

3 kinds of relationships:

  • Positive : add value, blessing, lift burdens
  • Neutral : most of our relationships, functional, not the most healthy
  • Negative : painful, hurtful, not safe or healthy, take but don’t give, bring burdens


Joseph has a positive relationship with his dad, has lots of neutral relationships with his coworkers and has negative relationships with his brothers, his boss’ wife, and the cupbearer.

You start with forgiveness

Maturity does not just come with time. Just because you get older does not mean you get wiser. You get wise when you learn from your mistakes, repent from sin, and walk in the Spirit of God. 

3 kings of people when it comes to relationship:

  • Wise
  • Foolish
  • Evil

Joseph’s brothers used to be evil, Joseph tested his brothers for 2 years instead of taking revenge and proves himself to be wise.

Evil people take advantage and use foolish people. Joseph cannot afford to be foolish. 

Your ministry and destiny is most important.

Wisdom knows relationships take time where the person is proven safe and healthy for intimacy. 

The story of Joseph is about forgiveness, trust and then a close relationship.

  • Forgiveness you can do even if they aren’t involved and don’t know. Forgiveness is between you and the Lord. 
  • Trust involves the other person and it takes time. 
  • Forgiveness and then trust can maybe lead to a relationship.


When you forgive someone, you don’t let them get away with anything, you allow yourself to get away from everything. 

Win, lose games are demonic and always end up as lose, lose. 

You will never see your destiny if you don’t forgive those who have hurt you.

Forgive quickly and trust slowly. Trust is earned. It takes time. 

Forgiveness is free. Love is free. Trust must be earned. 

Genesis 44:18-34 Judah gets to retake a failed test. 

Humility means to know your place. 

Don’t rush to conclusions before you know the facts. 

The story of Judah:

  • Comes up with the plan to get rid of Joseph and is the one to put animal blood on his robe
  • Judah sleeps with his daughter-in-law and gets her pregnant
  • Judah’s oldest two sons die 

Now he gets another chance to protect his younger brother and this time he passes the test. Judah offers to take the place of Benjamin. Here he changes. It is through the line of Judah that Jesus is a descendant. 

You know you are healed when you can help unburden the people that destroyed you. 

2 kinds of people:

  • Burden givers
  • Burden lifters

Lots of people want to meet Joseph, not many want to be him.


  • How bad was the offence?
  • How much did you care for the person that did it? 

Relationships are more important than issues. 

Time heals all wounds is not true. Only time with God heals any wound. 

Genesis 45: 16-28 – Live as a kingdom

Kingdom down not culture up. 

Your past is not your future if you move to the place of obedience God blesses. 

If we are Judah, Joseph serves as an example of Jesus’ love and forgiveness. 

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Mark Driscoll

It's all about Jesus! Read More