Rules vs Relationship

In this Real Men talk from Romans 2, Pastor Mark talks about leading by relationship vs. rules in your home, family, and workplace.

Rules vs Relationship

As men, we are led by rules so we lead by rules

  • Sports, military, work

Men lead others as they are led (rules not relationships)

=Results: win at sports & work but lose at marriage, parenting, friendship

Personal vs Professional relationships

  1. God is Father, you are son (personal)
  2. Father leads you in relationship (personal)
  3. Father wants you to lead others in personal relationships

Understanding the Heart and the Spirit

Romans 2:29 a matter of the heart, by the Spirit

The Spirit

  1. He is God, in relationship w/the Trinity
  2. He was in relationship with Jesus constantly
  3. He brings us the power of Jesus to grow in Christ-like Character
  4. He is your Helper
  5. He wrote the Scriptures, meets with you when you read, convicts you of sin, changes your mind, and gives you a new heart

Ezekiel 36:26–28 I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules…you shall be my people, and I will be your God.

The Heart

·        900+ X Bible – Emotional center (what we feel, why we feel it)

Proverbs 4:23

[ESV] Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

[NIV] Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

[NLT] Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

  1. Cause/heart – Effect/behavior
  2. Heart is upstream – behavior is downstream
  3. Behavior change starts inward, not outward
  4. Relational health starts inward, not outward
  5. God works 1). For you 2). In you 3). Through you

God Searches and Changes Hearts

Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!

  1. Bad heart bad behavior
  2. Bad heart good behavior
  3. Good heart bad behavior
  4. Good heart good behavior

Heart Conditions

= Toward God? Toward spouse? Toward child? Toward parent? Toward friend?

Hard or soft?                 Angry or joyful?             Broken or healed?         Weary or refreshed?

Anxious or peaceful?     Bitter or forgiving?

Amy Carmichael – cup analogy, kids bump us & we bump them

Group Questions

  1. Has your faith been more about rules from God as Boss or relationship with God as Father?
  2. Have your personal relationships been more about the rules or the relationship?
  3. If you had to pick one word to explain your heart today, what would it be?
  4. Who do you need to focus more on the relationship with than the rules?
  5. How can we pray for you?
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Mark Driscoll

It's all about Jesus! Read More