Communication

How to Maintain Your Relationship Through the Pressures of Life?

by

Marriage – like any relationship – can be challenging, even if you’re married to your best friend. (Best friends can be annoying sometimes!)

And when you’ve got bills to pay and the kids need your time and a thousand other things compete for your attention, how do you keep your marriage strong?

Join Grace and me for a special video and get tips on how to grow your marriage – including how to respond when your spouse annoys you!

Got more questions for me? Send them to [email protected] today!

Colossians #9 – Enjoy Your Marriage

by

If you have ever seen what happens when someone points a hose at a bees’ nest, then you have witnessed what basically happens when the the Bible verses about wives submitting to their husbands are discussed. In this sermon, Pastor Mark examines in great practical detail what the Bible means and does not mean when instructing wives to submit to husbands, and husbands to love their wives and not be harsh with them. Grace Driscoll joins Mark at the end of the sermon to help explain how the dynamics of decision making play out practically in their friendship and marriage of nearly 25 years.

You Shall Not Bear False Witness (Part 5)

by

“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” – Exodus 20:16

Q: What is the ninth commandment?
A: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

What does this mean?

Because we worship and love God, we shouldn’t deceive, betray, or speak badly about other people, but instead we should defend them, speak well of them, and build them up.

If God hates lying, what would be the opposite of that? Speaking the truth! God loves the truth. In fact, Jesus said that he is the truth (John 14:6).

Sometimes it’s hard to speak the truth, especially when you need to say something to someone that might not be fun to hear.

We all need correction. Children need correction from their parents, husbands and wives need correction from each other, and Christians in a church family need correction, called “rebuke”, for the sake of healthy community.

But if we are going to do that, we have to be willing to speak the truth. Sometimes it’s easier to just keep quiet or say something that is a bit more comfortable so that the person to whom you are speaking doesn’t get their feelings hurt.

It is very important to be sensitive and gentle in the way we communicate the truth, but we still need to communicate the truth to others if we are going to grow in the ways that God wants us to grow. We also should be able to receive the truth from others when they speak it to us!

Read Ephesians 4:15–16:
Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,  from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

1. Why does Paul say that we should speak the truth in love?
2. How have you seen the correction of your parents be a form of this type of truth telling?
3. Sometimes, it’s hard to admit, but wouldn’t you say that this has been a blessing in your life? (Parents might need to do a little coaching here.)

Prayer
Our Father, may we be humble enough to give and receive the truth in a way that honors you and helps us grow. Help us overcome our temptation refrain from truth-telling or to tell a falsehood because we fear the opinions of other people. May we only fear you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

You Shall Not Bear False Witness (Part 4)

by

“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” – Exodus 20:16

Q: What is the ninth commandment?
A: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

What does this mean?

Because we worship and love God, we shouldn’t deceive, betray, or speak badly about other people, but instead we should defend them, speak well of them, and build them up.

Did you know that God exists as a community? What does that mean? It means that God is a Trinity. He is the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God in three persons. Not three different Gods, but three persons, each fully God, that make up one God. It’s hard to understand, but by faith we believe what the Bible teaches even though it is hard to understand.

What is important to understand is that each member of the Trinity has a selfless love for the other persons of the Trinity. They exist as an interconnected relationship for the sake of blessing those who love and fear God. Just like a husband and wife are two distinct persons but yet are one, the beauty of their relationship is seen in how they love and serve each other. Out of the overflow of this love, they love and serve their children really well.

Do you think the Son ever lies to the Father? Or the Holy Spirit speaks a falsehood to the Son? No way! They are interconnected as one and would never want to do anything to hurt that loving relationship. Would it be good for a husband to lie to his wife? Never! They are interconnected and would never want to hurt that loving relationship.

As the church, God says we are supposed to act the same way. Since we as Christians are united as a family, the church, we should put away falsehood (which is just another way of saying bearing false witness or lying). Since we are all responsible for the health of our community we have to take seriously God’s call to speak the truth and only the truth to one another. If not, how could we love and serve those who don’t know Jesus? How could we call people to come join us in following Jesus if we were lying to each other all the time?

Consider Ephesians 4:25, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”

1. Why does Paul want us to put away falsehood?
2. What does being members of one another have to do with lying?
3. Since God calls us to live as a loving community, how does lying destroy that?

Prayer
Our Father, help us to remember who we are as members of your community, the church. May we love each other well as family. Keep our mouths pure with words of life that can be a blessing and not words of falsehood that tear away at our community. We love your church. Thank you for promising to build it. May we build it up as well in the way we speak. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

You Shall Not Bear False Witness (Part 3)

by

“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” – Exodus 20:16

Q: What is the ninth commandment?
A: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

What does this mean?

Because we worship and love God, we shouldn’t deceive, betray, or speak badly about other people, but instead we should defend them, speak well of them, and build them up.

“Did you hear what she did?” “Did you hear about him?” “Do you know where they were last night?!?!”

Have you ever been in a conversation that started like this? Did it pique your interest?

Usually when someone starts a conversation like this they are about to engage in what is called, “gossip”. Gossip is telling a story about someone that may or may not be true. Usually people gossip because they feel bad about themselves and if they can draw your attention to someone else then they won’t have to fear you finding out things about them that they wouldn’t want shared.

Gossip usually contains lies or partial truths that are harmful to the person being talked about. In addition, it tears communities apart. When you gossip about someone, the person listening to you gossip has a new perspective on that person. For example, if I were talking with you about another person at school that you had never met and I said, “Hey! Did you know that so and so comes from a poor family and I heard that they used to live on the street! Isn’t that crazy!? I wonder if they are kind of smelly?” As a result of this conversation you would have a perspective about that person before you even had the chance to meet them. You might think things about them that were not true because you don’t know them. If you were the person being gossiped about, would you like to be treated that way?

Of course not. This is why gossip hurts people and grieves the heart of God. It’s a form of bearing false witness.

Consider Proverbs 18:8, “The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.”

1. Why do you think the author of the proverb says that gossip tastes so good?
2. What do you think you could do if someone approaches you with a story that is simply gossip?
3. Why does gossip hurt people?

Prayer
Our Father, help us to use our words to love and serve people and not to spread lies about them. May our communities that bear your name resemble you in the way that we speak. Bring life to our conversations so that they may be a blessing to all those who hear. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

How Do you Stay Best Friends in Your Marriage?

by

Life gets busy. Temptations come. Distractions happen. In the middle of it all, how can you stay best friends with your spouse?

Grace and Pastor Mark talk about how you can be intentional with your husband or wife through a ministry of presence and time.

Watch and get practical tips on how you can keep a strong connection going in this special, God-ordained relationship!

Have a question for Pastor Mark? Email him today at [email protected]!

You Shall Not Bear False Witness (Part 2)

by

“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” – Exodus 20:16

Q: What is the ninth commandment?
A: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

What does this mean?

Because we worship and love God, we shouldn’t deceive, betray, or speak badly about other people, but instead we should defend them, speak well of them, and build them up.

Do you know what the legal system is? It is our system of government in the United States where we attempt to make sure people follow the laws of the land. If people break those laws they get in trouble. The legal system exists to make sure that innocent people don’t get in trouble and guilty people do get in trouble and have to pay for their crimes.

In our country, this system is very complicated and many people can get involved, but in the times when the Bible was written, things were simpler. In those days, what was most important were witnesses. These were people who saw a crime take place. They would be expected to tell the truth about what they saw. If two or three people were united about what they saw then a judge would usually bring punishment on the person who committed the crime. Sometimes this punishment was very serious, like the death penalty! In this way, it was all about the witnesses.

In light of this, can you see why it would be important to follow the ninth commandment?

Consider Proverbs 25:18, “A man who bears false witness against his neighbor is like a war club, or a sword, or a sharp arrow.”

1. Why would the author of this proverb use such strong and violent language in this verse?
2. How would you feel if you were accused of something you didn’t do and had to bear the penalty for it?
3. Do this remind you of the Gospel? How so?

Prayer
Our Father, thank you that you died for people who are liars. Thank you that Jesus took our place and suffered, as a liar, where we should have suffered. He had accusers bear false witness against him and as a result bore our punishment. This is amazing grace to say the least. Because we love your grace to us, may we never lie in order to hurt someone or cause them to be unjustly punished. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

You Shall Not Bear False Witness (Part 1)

by

“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” – Exodus 20:16

Q: What is the ninth commandment?
A: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

What does this mean?

Because we worship and love God, we shouldn’t deceive, betray, or speak badly about other people, but instead we should defend them, speak well of them, and build them up.

Do you think lying is a big deal? If so, why? If not, why not?

According to the Bible, lying is a really big deal. You know why? Because Satan is called “The Father of Lies”. Who wants to be a child to the Father of Lies? It would be would be pretty horrible to have Satan as your Dad. But when we lie, we are acting like Satan is our Father and not God. We are acting like we are in the family of Satan and not the family of God. Sounds pretty bad doesn’t it? It is. And that is what lying does.

God commanded his people in the Old Testament and his people today to not lie because lying breaks down relationships as well. How could you have good relationships with other people if people constantly lied to each other? You couldn’t. Everyone would be suspicious of each other and constantly on edge.

This is the essence of what it means to bear false witness. It means lying and since God always tells the truth, he wants his people to imitate him by always telling the truth as well.

Consider John 8:44, “You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

1. Can you think of ways that Satan is shown to be the Father of Lies in the Bible? (Garden of Eden, Tempting Jesus with lies in the wilderness)
2. In what ways have you been tempted to lie?

Prayer
Our Father, thank you that you have given us the truth and that that truth sets us free. May we live in light of the truth of the Gospel so that we don’t find ourselves in a prison of lies. You have been so good to us to show us a better way than the way of lies. Help us to love other people well so that lies never come out of our mouths. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Key #6 Moving From Roommates To Soul Mates

by

In our culture today, there are three marriage killers: casual dating, cohabitation, and contractual thinking. In this sermon, those errors are corrected with the biblical concept of covenant. What does it mean to have a covenant relationship with God? What does it mean to have a covenantal relationship with other people, especially a spouse? This sermon reveals that our entire culture has a flawed and faulty view of marriage and needs a complete overhaul for marriages to flourish.

Key #5 Putting More Fun In Your Friendship

by

The God of the Bible (Father, Son, Spirit) is a community of friends who made us to have a friendship with them and one another. How can we pick a good friend? How can we be a good friend? And, how can we be friends with our spouse. All of these issues and more are covered in this week’s sermon.